(Winners Announced) Dealnloot Weekend Contest – Play the Time Streak game and win exciting Prizes like Paytm cash, Recharges

Hope you have enjoyed the Quiz contest last weekend !! We are again organizing a contest / giveaway this weekend also, to make our users enhance their experience and relation with Dealnloot with deals and even entertainment from us. This contest is all about Time and comments. What you have to do is, Just keep commenting and if the time gap between your comment and the previous comment is equal to or more than 3 minutes then you will win a Rs 50 prize. Go through with the procedure and Terms to understand this contest better. Get ready to experience this magnum opus 🙂time-streak-2

The Winners have been announced. All the winners are requested to send their winning claim at [email protected] to get their prizes. Mention the question number you won or serial number in list of winners of time streak and also mention choice of prize. If you choose PayTM, don’t forget to send the registered PayTM contact number.
Bonus Question – Give us an idea for our next contest. The best one will be rewarded with Rs 50. Entries for this bonus question till 7 PM (Winner – Neeraj , email – ne****[email protected] )
Question 10 – There is an app which comes with exciting offers on gift vouchers on several days at exact 3 PM with limited stock. Name it. (Winner – Suraksha, email – s****[email protected])
Question 9 – If DEAL= 22, what is DEALNLOOT = ? (Winner – Yashu singhal, email -yash****art**[email protected])
Question 8A man had few toffee and chocolates, total counting 20. He was asked how many toffee he has. He said – All are toffee but eight. How many chocolates and toffee he has ? (Winner – Naushu, email -nau*****[email protected])
Question 7 – A two digit number is such that sum of its digits is 7. The difference between them is 3. Give all possible
combinations of such a two digit number. (Winner – Jatin, email -jatin****[email protected])
Question 6 – What is 48-(5*3)+7-(6*2)= ? (Winner – Krish, email -mat****[email protected])
Question 5 – Which website offered flat Rs 750 cashback on no minimum purchase of flight tickets booking ?   (Winner – Shubham, email -shu*****[email protected])
Question 4 – Name any three entrance examinations each consisting of 3 alphabets, the last two alphabets being ‘A’ and ‘T’ (Winner – Neeraj, email -neer*****[email protected])
Question 3 – Name the referendum which led to UK’s Prime Minister resign his position.  (Winner – Shubham, email – shu*****[email protected])
Question 2 – What was the maximum prize money a single person could win in Today’s Time Streak Contest a/c to rules ?  (Winner – Neeraj, email -neer*****[email protected])
Question 1 – Write the quoted sentence by reversing the alphabets “zuiq tsetnoc sah detrats won(Winner – ruhee, email – ruh****[email protected])
Update – We have decided to end this contest on high note. So we will be organising a small quiz contest of 10 questions worth Rs 25 each at 6:00 PM. Stay Tuned ! All other rules for quiz contest remain the same as our Father’s Day Contest.
Surprise Quiz Question 2 – Who is the governor of Reserve Bank of India ? First one to answer correct wins Rs 25 (Winner – Rahul)
Bonus Quiz Question – Name the Cat and the mouse who have entertained us for years. First one to answer correct gets Rs 25 (Winner – Neeraj)
Winners of Time Streak Contest So far
1 .Deven (email id – lu*****[email protected])
2. Lalit (email id – la***[email protected] )
3. Achal Jain ( san***[email protected])
4. Sameer Ansari (sam****[email protected])
5. Hiren (hn****[email protected])
6. Md Atif (md****[email protected])
7. Jitin (jit***[email protected])
8. Jitin (jit****[email protected])
9. Ravi (kur*****[email protected])
10. Jitin (jit****[email protected])
11. Subrata Maji (ja***[email protected])
12. Abir (t***[email protected])
13. Deven (email id – lu*****[email protected])
14. Hameed (hame***[email protected])
15. Amar Sai (am****[email protected])

What is the contest all about ?


Its based on the time streak between comments which should be a Joke or a humourous note but which should not be repeated. It means that you can comment any number of times but each comment should be unique to make it eligible.

Example – ” Teacher said to student – When I was your age, I used to score 100 out of 100 in Maths . Student – Then you must be having a good teacher 🙂

comment-to-win

For suppose A has commented at 10 AM, B at 10:03 AM, C at 10:05 AM and D at 10:10 AM. Here for the comments for B & D, the previous comment was at a time span which is equal  to or more than 3 minutes, so they both will be considered as winners.

Note – Time difference must be equal to or greater than 3 minutes. So if someone comments at 10 AM and next person does at 10:03 AM then the person commenting at 10:03 AM will win as here the difference is 3 minutes.

How to participate in Time Streak contest ?

dealnloot-contest-how-to-participate

1. Bookmark this post and get ready at 11 AM on 25th June to Start commenting !!

2. Keep an eye on the comments and make sure you comment immediately if you find a previous one to be at a time of 3 minutes or more.

3. Keep some jokes ready before hand so that you can simply copy paste them and save your valuable time.

prizes-to-win-diwali-contest

The contest starts at 11 AM and will be running till 6 PM. All the eligible winners will be rewarded who satisfy the conditions mentioned.

Rules & TnC’s of the contest

contest-rules

1. The comment response can’t be estimated exactly so we can alter the required time gap between comments at any time (which is currently 3 minutes). So if there is a high level of competition and no one is able to win then we will make it to 2 mins or even less than that.

2. Only the comments which have a joke will be considered to be valid. Other type of comments will be disqualified.

3. Comments on this post will only be considered and the ones on other posts wont have any connection with this contest.

4. A person can win only thrice upto Rs 150 and the comments done thereafter will be considered invalid.

5. Comments under moderation could be approved at anytime, so be sure that the displayed ones won’t be the only comments actually present. But be rest assured that we will be fair as we always have been. Fair play is what we believe in.

6. No adult content should be present in jokes which is not suitable for people under 18 years. We will delete such comments and if it happens more than once for a user, we will disallow that user to post any more comments.

7. Winners will be declared at the end of the contest and the selection of the winner is the sole discretion of Dealnloot team.

8. The Terms & Rules could be modified at anytime and Dealnloot has the right to terminate the contest or ban any person from the contest.

We know that this contest is a little bit tough to understand, so if you have any queries feel free to comment them and we will resolve them at the earliest 🙂

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Vishu
Guest
Vishu

Pls never put such contests you waste a lot of time of ours as we get addicted to the competition to win the prize

Avinash
Guest
Avinash

Very excited!!!!

Abir
Guest
Abir

Amazing…..one out of topic question bro, have u any working key for kaspersky internet security?

Hameed
Guest
Hameed

The one and only DealnLoot… Waiting for the contest..

JOJO VJ
Guest
JOJO VJ

Princeware Water Bottle & Containers 30 percent and more off @ amazon

Ashish
Guest
Ashish

Very interesting contest…looking forward to it 🙂

Ashish
Guest
Ashish

Interesting!!

mahesh
Guest
mahesh

@ADMIN:
5. Comments under moderation could be approved at anytime
^^^^
Which comments posted by any user are under moderation?? bcoz none of my comments r under moderation from the very 1st day of me joining here. Please clarify.

subhasis
Guest
subhasis

ohhh great

Mahi
Guest
Mahi

@admin : this contest will be live from 11 am to 6pm. OMG Then please tell what is the total prize worth 5000? coz m sure every hour there will be minimum 60 winners so please calculate and think on that. And let us knw brother 🙂

Hameed
Guest
Hameed

Hey ,it is difficult to get total 20 winners also..

mukush
Guest
mukush

hello din’t understand the contest but still commenting hope i win 😉😉

Prashant
Guest
Prashant

Hi admin
mere email pe is website ka push notification subscribe nai ho raha hai

Navneet
Guest
Navneet

Great Contest!

Shubham Aggarwal
Guest
Shubham Aggarwal

Hi there , this is shubham Aggarwal

Shubham Agggarwal
Guest
Shubham Agggarwal

Hi there , this is shubham Aggarwal , i am very excited about that .

Rizwan Handa
Guest
Rizwan Handa

How I can comment without entering my name and email again and again?

Prashant
Guest
Prashant

It is the worst website i have ever seen .

Shubham Aggarwal
Guest
Shubham Aggarwal

A young man and a priest are golfing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole, my son?” The young man says, “An 8-iron, Father. How about you?” The priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.” The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, “I don’t know about you, Father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down.” A young man… Read more »

Shubham Aggarwal
Guest
Shubham Aggarwal

@Neeraj make account on here https://en.gravatar.com/ and upload pic that you want

Prashant
Guest
Prashant

My push notification not getting subscribed and its a very slow opening website i dont know why

suneshchamp
Guest
suneshchamp

hm… great contest…!!

priya
Guest

Provide a giveaway for people who have slow net I request you before also it will be exciting to many users

Mahesh
Guest
Mahesh

admin 1 request – since the contest will run for 7 hrs so please declare winners every hour starting from 12pm that is at 12 1 2 3 4 5 6pm. In that way it wud b helpful for both. Ok???

asif
Guest
asif

lovely will see

Rupesh
Guest
Rupesh

Nice contest

deepanshu
Guest
deepanshu

Great and excited for the contest

mehul
Guest
mehul

admin ham contest hissa kaise le sakte hai?

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

I’m ready.

zubair
Guest
zubair

ok good game

zubair
Guest
zubair

ya im ready nice game

Kirtimaan Chhabra
Guest
Kirtimaan Chhabra

Hi There,
I think you must not put these type of contests as there are so many people with slow internet and who wants to win.. So slow internet won’t allow us to post a comment on time.. after clicking on post.. i might even take 1-2more minutes :/

Btw, we are thankful for your giveaway 🙂

PS: I haven’t won any, yet 😛

subhasis
Guest
subhasis

hiii admin… one hour left…….. ready for it

Shreedhar
Guest
Shreedhar

Hey Admin The Airtel MOney Offer Has Changed its Terms And Condition its says” 50% cashback only on first transaction.” and i didnt my cashback wat i ordered on 22june its been more than 2 days
Please Refer In The Airtel Money App or Check the screenshot
http://imgur.com/7JtFRlH
So Please Update It Quickly Because All The Dealnloters Are Buying And after That they will comlain to u.. and thank You.

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

waiting waiting

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

YAY 🙂 SUPER EXCITED

Sachin
Guest
Sachin

Interesting but too difficult.😀

Shubham Agggarwal
Guest
Shubham Agggarwal

First you need to make your site scalable and then organize contests .

Rajvenkatesh
Guest
Rajvenkatesh

I’m waiting

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in India .

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”

Jitin
Guest
Jitin

Attitude of girls: When a boy sends dirty sms, she laughs for 10 minutes, forward

aryn
Guest
aryn

लड़की वाले:- लड़का शराब पीता है…?
लड़के वाले- जी..बिलकुल पीता है…और रोज़ पीता है…
लड़की वाले:- इसका मतलब अच्छा कमाता है….
.हमारी तरफ से ये रिश्ता पक्का…
रिश्ता वही….सोच नयी…!!!!

Ashok Shetty
Guest

Ha hA ha…………..

jitin
Guest
jitin

Attitude of girls: When a boy sends dirty sms, she laughs for 10 minutes, forward dat to her friends n then replies the boy…”i dont like that kind of sms ok?”

Snehasis
Guest
Snehasis

3 Idiots part 2….. Rancho: *Smiling* 😄 Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho? 😳 Rancho: Bahot dino se Whatsapp me account banane ki ichha thi…aaj bana diya hai…bohot maza aa raha hai.😃 Teacher: Zyaada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai… Tell me, what is a Post? Rancho: Anything that is posted on Whatsapp is a Post, Sir.😌 Teacher: Can you please elaborate? 😤 Rancho: Sir…jo bhi Whatsapp pe log daalte hai post hai sir… Ghumne gaye…photo daal diya! Post hai Sir. Match dekha, score daal diya! Post hai Sir… Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak! Sab post hai… Read more »

vasu
Guest
vasu

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

मारवाडी को फांसी की सजा सुनाई गयी ..

जज ने पूछा- कोई आखिरी ख्वाहिश?

मारवाडी – म्हारी जगह थे लटक जाओ!!

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Cop: “Did you kill this man?”
Me: “No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed.”

deepanshu
Guest
deepanshu

Papa Hain Vo Tere… Girlfriend- Mere Papa Mujhe Saara Din Guss Karte Rehte Hain… Hamesha Daantte Rehte Hain. Boyfriend- Koi Bat Nahi Yaar, Papa Hain Vo Tere. Girlfriend: Lekin Din Bhar Chillate Rehte Hain Mujhpe… Chup Hone Ka Naam Hi Lete. Boyfriend Jaanu, Koi Baat Nahin… Papa Hain Vo Tere. Girlfriend: But Bina Vajah Ke Daantna Bhi Theek Nahin Hai Na Yaar… Boyfriend Arey Jaane Bhi Do Yaar… Papa Hain Vo Tere. Girlfriend: Tum Bhi Unki Hi Side Loge….. Meri Toh Koi Value Hi Nhain Hai Tumhare Liya… Boyfriend Achcha… Bula Toh Usko… Aisi Taisi Na Kar Di Us Buddhe… Read more »

Ritika Kalra
Guest
Ritika Kalra

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all

mus2
Guest
mus2

A man meets an old friend & notices he is wearing an earring: when did u start wearing earring?
Friend: Ever since my wife found one in my car

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

ravi
Guest
ravi

When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

raghav
Guest
raghav

It doesn’t matter howmany years pass by, the flight of our love will always fly high

Ritika Kalra
Guest
Ritika Kalra

Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!

jitin
Guest
jitin

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’
I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.

Sanket
Guest
Sanket

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

जो लड़के
फोन मे 10 ₹ का लोन लेकर
वापिस करने की बजाए
नया सिम लेकर कंपनी वालो को ठगते रहते है,
ऐसे लड़के ही
आगे चलकर
विजय माल्या बनते है।
😜😂😂😂😂😂

Ritika Kalra
Guest
Ritika Kalra

Teacher said the students to convert the sentence “I killed a person” into future tense.
Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is “u will go to jail”!

vasu
Guest
vasu

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language

Mj
Guest
Mj

21st June…..India declares International yoga day.

22nd June….millions of people who did yoga on 21st June wake up with severe body aches and pain.

23rd June….Thailand declares International Massage Day. 😂😂😂😂

arun
Guest
arun

पती – अगर मैने जिनदगी मे कभी तुमसे झूठ बोला हो तो मै अभी मर जाऊ..
पतनी – मैन

Amit Vador
Guest
Amit Vador

एक काका देसी लगाकर रेल्वे-स्टेशन क्रॉस करते करते अचानक रेल्वे पटरी के बीच दोडने लागे… 🏃
किसीने पुछा : काका क्या कर रहे हो?




•हट जाओ आज तुम्हारा काका Subway Surfer खेलेगा..

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”

Rahmath
Guest
Rahmath

A : i need to quit the world now :Its time to move away
B: knocks the doorand says what are you doing?
A:(frustration) and says doing panipuri will u eat here or take parcel?

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

arun
Guest
arun

पती – अगर मैने जिनदगी मे कभी तुमसे झूठ बोला हो तो मै अभी मर जाऊ..
पतनी – मैने भी कभी आपसे झूठ बोला हो तो मै भी विधवा हो जाऊ।।।

mahesh
Guest
mahesh

ADMIN – PEOPLE r posting jokes every few seconds. so how wud there b gap of 3 minutes.

look into this

Sanket
Guest
Sanket

Girl- You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy- What two things?
Girl- Your Two Legs

charles ruban
Guest
charles ruban

पति बाथरूम में घुसा और नहाने के बाद :- अरे सुनो , ज़रा तौलिया देना । पत्नी (चिल्ला के ) :- हमेशा बिना तौलिये के नहाने जाते हो । अब मैं चाय बनाऊँ या तौलिया दूं । बनियान भी धो के नल पे टांग देते हो वो भी मैं उठाऊं । नहाने के बाद वाइपर भी नहीं चलाते । कल लाइट भी खुली छोड़ दी थी तुमने । गीले गीले बाहर निकलोगे तो पूरे घर में गीले पैरों के निशान बना दोगे । फिर उस पे मिटटी पड़ेगी तो सब जगह गन्दी हो जाएगी । एक बार नौकरानी उसपे फिसल… Read more »

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No…
Girl: I am the principal’s daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No…
Boy: Good! *walks away*

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

Raghav
Guest
Raghav

hiii evryone

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia

Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga

Ladki Ne Pucha:
Kya Hua

Ladka:
Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu

Ravi
Guest
Ravi

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Amit Vador
Guest
Amit Vador

वो दिन दूर नहीं जब लोकल रेल्वे और बसों में चिपके पोस्टरों में देखेंगे-

“15 दिन में whatsapp की आदत छुड़ाएँ”

बन्टी बाबा,
अशोका लॉज
बसस्टैंड के सामने, दादर !
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

तुलसीदास बहुत ज्ञानी थे, वे *आधार कार्ड* के बारे में पहले ही बता गए थे……..

“कलियुग केवल नाम *अधारा।*
सुमिर सुमिर नर उतरहिं पारा।

अर्थात,

कलियुग में *आधार कार्ड* से ही आपकी पहचान होगी। और समुंद्र से पार जाने के लिए पासपोर्ट भी तभी बनेगा जब आपके पास *आधार कार्ड* होगा।😝😝😝

Vikas
Guest
Vikas

their is no gain without pain

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

sanjay k
Guest
sanjay k

Hold.on guys read t n c

Jayesh Jain
Guest
Jayesh Jain

Meri Baat Gaur Se Suno
.Zindgi me kabhi bhi ..
Dettol Se Mat Nahana
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dettol Kitaanuo Ko Maar Deta Hai.
Or Hum Apko Khona Nahi
Chahte.!.!

Amit Vador
Guest
Amit Vador

सुबह सवेरे पति उठ के तैयार हुआ योगा जाने के लिय । पत्नि की आखं खुल गई तो पति ने पुछ लिया पति : प्रिय, क्या तुम मेरे साथ योगा के लिए चलना पसंद करोगी ? पत्नि : तुम कहना क्या चाहते हो, मैं क्या मोटी हो गई हूँ. पति : कोई बात नही, इच्छा नही है तो मत चलो. पत्नि : मतलब, मैं आलसी हूँ ? पति : अरे तुम गुस्सा क्यों कर रही हो ? पत्नि : मतलब, मैं हमेशा झगड़ती हूँ. पति : अरे, मैंने ऐसा कब बोला ? पत्नि : मतलब कि मैं झूठी हूँ. पति… Read more »

Amit
Guest
Amit

sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Rajvenkatesh J
Guest
Rajvenkatesh J

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one

jitin
Guest
jitin

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there’s a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman “What did you do that for?”

Paras
Guest
Paras

संता ने बंता को हिंदी SMS भेजा
भेजने वाला महान,
पढ़ने वाला गधा.

बंता गुस्से में वापिस sms भेजता है:
भेजने वाला गधा,
पढ़ने वाला महान!!

shobhit
Guest
shobhit

😃😂महंगाई के असल जिम्मेदार वो बच्चे भी है जो…
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सामान लाने के बाद घर में पैसे वाप

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

नोकर-:मालिक हमरा के दू दिन की छुट्टी दई दो
3 साल बाद बिहार जा रहे है।

मालिक -:क्या करेगा बे बिहार जा के

नोकर -:मालिक घर से चिठ्ठी आई है हमारी MBBS पूरी हो गई है, हम top किया हु, ओ ही का डिग्री लेने जाना है।

raghav
Guest
raghav

me ramta jogi…me ramta jogi…
oye hoye… oye hoye :-p

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

ABHI MISHRA
Guest
ABHI MISHRA

Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!”
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: “Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!”
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?”
Little Johnny: “No… i just feel bad that you’re standing alone…”

Deepak K
Guest

Life Is A Race, If You Don’t Run Then You Won’t Get Fun

subhasis
Guest
subhasis

When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date

Shubham Agggarwal
Guest
Shubham Agggarwal

Site may be down .

Amit
Guest
Amit

Meri Baat Gaur Se Suno
.Zindgi me kabhi bhi ..
Dettol Se Mat Nahana
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Dettol Kitaanuo Ko Maar Deta Hai.
Or Hum Apko Khona Nahi
Chahte.!.!

sandeep
Guest
sandeep

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Height of coolness:2 Guys coming out of theexaminatio n Hall with chips andcoke in hands….1st guy:which paper was it?…2nd guy:I think maths….. .1st guyfrown.pngsurpr isingly) you readthe question paper?2nd guy: no I see a girl sittingbesides me using calculator ..

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?”
Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

Vishnu
Guest
Vishnu

Am I the only one who stares at a dead body in a movie to see if I can catch them while moving

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

it’s funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about more clever shit you could have said

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Tagore Library Hall that had been built on the campus.
“It’s a pleasure to a Library named after Rabindra Nath Tagore,” he said.
“Actually ,” the guide replied, “it is named after Joshua Tagore. No relation.”
The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Tagore also a writer?” he asked.
“Yes, indeed,” said the guide. “He wrote a cheque.”

Shubham Agggarwal
Guest
Shubham Agggarwal

Site may be down 🙁

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Headmaster: I’ve had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.

satish
Guest
satish

Teacher asked the students to tell the most common word used by students in a classroom.
Suddenly a student got up and said “Can’t Sir”!
Brilliant! You are right, the teacher said!

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

Wife
was in the
ICU 🚑

The husband
was unable
to control his tears

Doctor:
We are
trying our best
but
can’t guarantee anything

Her body is not reacting

It seems she is in a coma

.
.

Husband:
Doctor
please save her

She is just 30 years old
and
the family needs her

.
.

Suddenly
something
happened

Miraculously

the ECG started beeping
like crazy

A hand moved

her lips mumbled

And
she spoke:

I’m 29 😜

😜😜😂😂😂😆😆

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”

Amit
Guest
Amit

वो दिन दूर नहीं जब लोकल रेल्वे और बसों में चिपके पोस्टरों में देखेंगे-

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Teacher: “Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”
Nick: “What do you think it is, Sir?”
Teacher: “I don’t think, I KNOW!”
Nick: “I don’t think I know either, Sir!”

shobhit
Guest
shobhit

महंगाई के असल जिम्मेदार वो बच्चे भी है जो…
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सामान लाने के बाद घर में पैसे वापस नही करते और…
घरवाले समझते है महंगाई बढ गई है😛😝

वित्त मंत्रीअरुण जेटली

santosh
Guest
santosh

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

A: If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

*SAP India CEO Ranjan Das Dies After Gym Workout* Ranjan Das, CEO and MD of SAP-Indian subcontinent died after a massive cardiac arrest in Mumbai recently. One of the youngest CEOs, he was only 42. What killed Ranjan Das? He was very active in sports, was a fitness freak and a marathon runner. After his workout, he collapsed with a massive heart attack and died. He is survived by his wife and two very young kids. It was certainly a wake-up call for corporate India. However, it was even more disastrous for runners. The question arises as to why an… Read more »

abhi MISHRA
Guest
abhi MISHRA

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No…
Girl: I am the principal’s daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No…
Boy: Good! *walks away*

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

raghav
Guest
raghav

janam janam tu hi mere pas maa..
janam janam :-*

shubham bansal
Guest
shubham bansal

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

kumari
Guest
kumari

जीजा ने हाल ही में अंग्रेजी सीखना शुरू किया था. एक दिन उसकी साली उसके घर आई. अंग्रेजी का रुआब झाड़ने की गरज से जीजा ने उससे कहा: आई लव यू.
साली पढ़ी लिखी थी और जीजाजी पर जान छिड़कती थी. जवाब में बोली: आई लव यू टू.
जीजा भी कहां पीछे रहने वाला था, वह भी बोला: आई लव यू थ्री …

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.

sandeep
Guest
sandeep

Ladki ekdum gori chitti aur bilkul steaming hot honi chahiye.’

Bc momo se shaadi kar lo.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

UNKNOWN CALL-
HE:”Do u hv a bf?”
SHE:”Yes! Who r u?”
HE:”Tera bhai..Ruk kamini gahr aata hu dhulai krne!”
ANOTHER UNKNOWN CALL-
HE”Do u hv a bf?”
SHE-“Oh no no! Who r u?”
HE-“I m ur bf..Cheat u broke my heart!”
SHE-“Oh darling sorry I thought u r my bro!”
HE-“Tera bhai hi hu kamini….Aaj to bas ghar aane ki der hai!”

Ravi
Guest
Ravi

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you sufferfrom a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10?10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine.”

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”

“Wrong number,” replied the girl.

anamika bansal
Guest
anamika bansal

How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

Amit
Guest
Amit

Teacher: “Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”
Nick: “What do you think it is, Sir?”
Teacher: “I don’t think, I KNOW!”
Nick: “I don’t think I know either, Sir!”

disant
Guest
disant

“अपनों” को हमेशा “अपने होने का” एहसास दिलाते रहना चाहिए
वरना “वक्त”, “हमारे अपनों को”
हमारे बिना “जीना” सिखा देगा
💐Good Morning🌞
Have a great day..!!!💐
Jay mataji

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

PUPIL: “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?”
TEACHER:” Of course not.”
PUPIL: “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

Wife (standing in front of a mirror): “I am fat, old, wrinkled, and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?” Husband: “Your eyesight is still excellent !”

mus2
Guest
mus2

Wife dreaming at night. Suddenly, “Quick! My husband is back!”
Man gets up, jumps out of d window & realizes, “Damn it! I’m d husband!!!”

sandeep
Guest
sandeep

बिना पासवर्ड लगा हुआ
Wi-Fi मिल जाना भी
पिछले जन्म के किसी
पुण्य का ही परिणाम होता है।

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!

sanjay k
Guest
sanjay k

Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!😡😠

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.🤕

Once she’s done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

“hi darling”, he says,
“your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them
😂😂😂

Vishnu
Guest
Vishnu

When a bomb is about to go off in a movie
0.05
Five minutes later
0.04

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

When I want to teach the coulors, I just ask my students to pretend the phone is ringing and they will answer:
Phone rings: “Green, green!”
They answer: “Yellow?”
They ask: “White?”
They hang up: “Pink!”

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

सिर्फ बेहद चाहने से क्या होता है,..

नसीब भी होना चाहिए किसीका प्यार पाने के लिए !!

charles ruban
Guest
charles ruban

Teacher:
beta, “kabutar” 🐦 pey wakya ( sentence) banao …

Santa:
subaha ki pee hui sharab, shaam ko _*kab-utar*_ jaati hai …pata hi nahi chalta….! 🤔😜😂😂💃🏻💃🏻👍🏻😷

ABHI MISHRA
Guest
ABHI MISHRA

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Husband (watching a video):
Don’t do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don’t say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What’aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.

Rahmath
Guest
Rahmath

son: father a student called me gay
Father: punch him on his face
son:but he is cute:

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Pk
Guest
Pk

Me:- Bhai Tu Regular smoker hai..?
Frnd:- Nhi, GOLD FLAKE smoker
Me:- Handle Plz.

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

निंदा उसी की होती हैं जो जिंदा हैं

वरना मरने के बाद तो तारीफ़ सब करते ही हैं😊

nitesh
Guest
nitesh

Comment testing

shobhit
Guest
shobhit

एक घर की डोरबैल के सामने लिखा था ।
😀
😀
😀
😀
😀
😀
😀
😀
कृपया घंटी बजाने के बाद थोडी देर रूके 🖐
अंदर बैठा व्यक्ति चल कर आयेगा ।।
” उड कर नही”

Amit
Guest
Amit

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”

Praveen
Guest
Praveen

एक दिन हम लोग एक दुसरे को ये सोचकर खो देंगे…

की वो हमे याद नही करते तो हम क्यों करे😌😌

Raghav
Guest
Raghav

tu ki jane pyar mera :-p

Vamsi Krishna
Guest
Vamsi Krishna

Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

prashant
Guest
prashant

लडकियाँ 300 की सेँडल खरीद के पूरे घर मे कहती फिरतीं हैँ।
शाँपिँग करके आ रही हूँ ।।

लडके 1000 की दारु पीकर आते हैं और चुपचाप सो जाते हैं।।

“सादा जीवन,उच्च विचार” 😀

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

sandeep
Guest
sandeep

Friend : meri Gf mumbai rehti hai. Teri Gf kaha rehti hai?

Me : Bhai meri Gf toh naraz rehti hai wink.png

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

5th class ka student apne dost se: Kitna MuskiL H SchooL Ki “Teacher” Se Pyar Karna,
2 Dost: kyun?

“LOVE-LETTER” Beja Tha…
Home Work Samz Ke Check kar DIA

Bhupesh Meena
Guest
Bhupesh Meena

Interviewer — Tell me something about yourself ??

Me — Sir , Yourself is an 8 letter word .

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Sameer Gupta
Guest
Sameer Gupta

The person who comments after this will die in 3 mins. 👹😈👿💀☠

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him “What was the name of his other leg?”

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Me: should I get into trouble for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: No
Me: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

santosh
Guest
santosh

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
“Order ! Order !”

SANTA:
“1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !”

JUDGE:
“Shut Up !”

SANTA:”No,No..7-Up!

ABHI MISHRA
Guest
ABHI MISHRA

Ques: Is google a boy or girl?
Ans: Obviously a girl because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

satish
Guest
satish

Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!

gudu
Guest
gudu

Papa Hain Vo Tere…Girlfriend- Mere Papa Mujhe Saara Din Guss Karte Rehte Hain… Hamesha Daantte Rehte Hain.Boyfriend- Koi Bat Nahi Yaar, Papa Hain Vo Tere.Girlfriend: Lekin Din Bhar Chillate Rehte Hain Mujhpe… Chup Hone Ka Naam Hi Lete.Boyfriend Jaanu, Koi Baat Nahin… Papa Hain Vo Tere.Girlfriend: But Bina Vajah Ke Daantna Bhi Theek Nahin Hai Na Yaar…Boyfriend Arey Jaane Bhi Do Yaar… Papa Hain Vo Tere.Girlfriend: Tum Bhi Unki Hi Side Loge….. Meri Toh Koi Value Hi NhainHai Tumhare Liya…Boyfriend Achcha… Bula Toh Usko…Aisi Taisi Na Kar Di Us Buddhe Ki Aaj Toh Mera Naam Badal Dena… Tum Bulao Toh… Read more »

raghav
Guest
raghav

jitin kumar ji ruk javo yar..
thoda recharge humko karane do :-p

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

prashant
Guest
prashant

एडमिन ने ढाबा खोला..

ग्राहक –
मेरी चाय मै मक्खी डूब कर मरी पड़ी है |

एडमिन –
तो क्या करू?
मै ढाबा चलाऊ या इन्हे तैरना सीखाऊँ |

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

*Men will be men!*
.
.
बीवी की तकलीफ से परेशान एक पति ने आत्महत्या करने का विचार पक्का किया और पांचवी मंज़िल की बॉलकनी से कूदने ही वाला था की……

उसकी बीवी ने अंदर से आवाज दी

“अजी सुनते हो,
मेरी कुछ सहेलियां आई हैं अंदर आ जाओ आपकी पहचान करा देती हूँ ….”
.
.
.
.
हाँ ..हाँ …आया ………
😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Shubham Agggarwal
Guest
Shubham Agggarwal

All are commenting blindly .

mus2
Guest
mus2

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

Amit
Guest
Amit

Waiting Sultan eagerly 🙂

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.

Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let’s start from your bank account.

Pk
Guest
Pk

Friend : meri Gf mumbai rehti hai. Teri Gf kaha rehti hai?

Me : Bhai meri Gf toh naraz rehti hai wink.

Aman
Guest
Aman

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’
I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.

Deepak K
Guest
Deepak K

Kismat Footi Hai, Comments Published Hi Nahi Ho Rahe….

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

भिखारिन: बाबूजी 1 रुपया दे दो। 3 दिन से भूखी हूँ।

बाबूजी : 3 दिन से भूखी है तो 1 रुपये से क्या करोगी??

भिखारिन: Weight check करूँगी। कि कितना कम हुआ है।

😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

💕 O Womania!!!!!

😳😜😝😎💃💃💃

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

santosh
Guest
santosh

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Boy-Ro Q rhi ho..
Grl-Mere marks bahut kam aaye h.
Boy-Bata kitne aye h..
Grl-Sirf 90%
Boy-Khuda ka khof kar zalim itne me to 2 ladke pass ho jate!!

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway 🙂

rahul
Guest
rahul

Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”

Doctor: “Nine.”

Neha
Guest
Neha

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing to my 6 yr old daughter,
he can not read very fast. face-smile.png
face-smile.png face-smile.png face-smile.png

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that’s okay. The soup isn’t hot.

lalit
Guest
lalit

मारवाडी को फांसी की सजा सुनाई गयी ..

जज ने पूछा- कोई आखिरी ख्वाहिश?

मारवाडी – म्हारी जगह थे लटक जाओ!!

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

तीन सरदार दरवाजा लॉक होने के कारण Car में फँस गए,

पहला- एक काम करते हैं,
इंजन के रस्ते बाहर निकलते हैं,

दूसरा – नहीं डिग्गी के रस्ते
ज्यादा सही है,

तीसरा – जो करना है जल्दी करो,
बारिश होने वाली है और Car में ऊपर छत भी नहीं है 😜😜😜

santosh
Guest
santosh

Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

raghav
Guest
raghav

jab pyar kiya to darna kya…

ABHI MISHRA
Guest
ABHI MISHRA

I like how the Ninja Turtles wear masks. Good way to hide your identity. I mean, its not like your a giant fucking turtle or anything.

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ‘All India Radio! ‘

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

A drunk Marathi bhau enters a bar orders a drink and yells: “Hey, you wanna hear a Sardar joke?” In deep husky voice a man next to him says: “Before you tell that joke Sir, I think it is fair to inform you that you are drunk for sure, you should know 5 things about this place… 1. Bartender is Sardar, 2. Bouncer is Sardar, 3. I’m a 6 feet tall, 260 LB Sardar with a black belt, 4. Man sitting next to me is Sardar and is a professional weightlifter. 5. Man to your right is a Sardar and… Read more »

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

The real estate agent says, “I have a good, cheap apartment for you.”
The man replys, “By the week or by the month?”
The agent answers, “By the garbage dump..”

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

ये वक्त की नजाकत है
बदलते दौर की मजबूरी है।
लड़के को पराठे
और
लड़की को कराटे
सिखाना बहुत जरूरी है।
आत्म -निर्भर बनो.

santosh
Guest
santosh

Santa-What Is Difference
Between COFFEE Shop & WINE
Shop?
Banta-COFFEE Shop Is The
Starting Point Of LOVE & WINE
Shop Is Last Point Of LOVE

nitesh
Guest
nitesh

8 BAATE, 8 BAATO Ko
Khatam Kar Deti
Hai..
SORRY:” GALTI Ko
DUKH:” ZINDAGI Ko
GUSSA:” RISHTE Ko
JHUTH:” VISHWAS Ko
SATH:” GAM Ko
DHOKHA:” PYAAR Ko
FACEBOOK:” CAREER Ko.
WHATSAPP:” TIME Ko .. 😀

Aman
Guest
Aman

Not able to get the contest, a person comments at 11:18 am, later on it should be at 11:21 or after but between those minutes other comments also come so will 1:18 AM be considered, or the comments in between those will also be? Please reply fast

Pk
Guest
Pk

Interviewer — Tell me something about yourself ??

Me — Sir , Yourself is an 8 letter word .

disant
Guest
disant

🙏’;इन्सान इस कारण से.,
अकेला हो जाता है.
.
.
अपनो को छोडने की सलहा..
गैरो से लेता है…!’;
Good morning

Amit
Guest
Amit

Win

Deepak K
Guest
Deepak K

Site Is Under Maintaince , Try After Some Time

ravi
Guest
ravi

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend’s kneecap was all it took. I could walk awayat a comfortable pace.

A Rohitash Panwar
Guest

एक सिनेमा हाल मे औरतो के हक़ पर फ़िल्म चल रही थी…..
एक औरत जोश में आकर बोली:- आज की औरत क्या नही कर सकती।
.
.
पीछे से आवाज़ आई
.
.
.
दिवार पे पिसाब।।।।
😂😂😂😂😂

Neha
Guest
Neha

Sardar ko invitation mila
k
party me sirf LAAL taai pehan ker aana hy.
Sardar party me pohncha
To dekha
k


Logon ne
pant
aur shirt b pehni hui hy.

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

Wife : I hate the beggar who came yesterday !
Husband : why ??
Wife : I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book “how to cook “!!

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Tu sawal nahi ek paheli hai
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
Meri manzil tu nahi teri saheli hai!

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Boyfriend: Bitch
Girlfriend: I been called worse
Boyfriend: Like what
Girlfriend: your girlfriend

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

Santa : .. Yeh Udta Punjab ka chakkar kya hai yaar ?
Banta : ….yeh film Punjab mein drug ki problem par bani hai …
Santa : ….Par Punjab mein toh drug ki problem hai hi nahi …. Aram se mil jati hai …..

😄😃😆

hiren
Guest
hiren

जान बचाती है *दवा*,
उस पर *Discount* चाहिये।
जो जान लेती है *मदिरा*,
वो हर *कीमत* पर चाहिये।

Aman
Guest
Aman

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

बिना पासवर्ड लगा हुआ
Wi-Fi मिल जाना भी
पिछले जन्म के किसी
पुण्य का ही परिणाम होता है।

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Amit
Guest
Amit

Error

saaransh
Guest

मोनू गर्लफ्रेंड के साथ डिनर पर गया। मोनू ने गिलास में घूम रहे एक कीड़े को मार दिया। यह देख गर्लफ्रेंड चिल्लाई, कितने निर्दयी हो। मैं तो इतनी सेंसिटिव हूं कि एक चींटी भी मुझ से मर जाए तो दुःख होता है। तभी वेटर आ गया। वेटर : मैडम आर्डर? गर्लफ्रेंड : भैया एक चिकन ले आओ! ———– पहला कुत्ता – आज मेरे मालिक ने रात 3 बजे एक चोर पकड़ा …….. दूसरा कुत्ता : …..तुम कहा थे ? पहला कुत्ता- कुत्ता हू कोई इंसान नही जो रात भर नेट चलाता रहू….. मै तो आराम से सो रहा था ———-… Read more »

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Bank Teller: How do you like the money?
English Student: I like it very much.

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Boy : Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house..?
Boy : No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ?
Boy : No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy : No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i
marry you.??
Leave please.!
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3
property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2Porsche.. Why I
still need to buy BMW.?! How can I get the
salary when actually I am the BOSS

sagan
Guest

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers…
and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene…
plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

“Why do you take baths in milk?”
“I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower.”

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Sachin
Guest
Sachin

सबको बता दो आज एडमिन बहुत खुश है. . . . . . . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
क्योंकी. . . . . .
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

पिछले साल का रेनकोट बाहर निकाला,. उसमे 20 रूपये निकले.,😃😃

hiren
Guest
hiren

वाह रे लोग…

जान बचाती है *दवा*,
उस पर *Discount* चाहिये।
जो जान लेती है *मदिर

Anil
Guest
Anil

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.

saaransh
Guest
saaransh

एक बार एक पंजाबी U.P. गया और वहां एक कुए में गिर गया… एक आदमी वहां से गुजरा और उसने पंजाबी के चिल्लाने की आवाज सुनी… U.P. वाला :- “अबे कौन है बे कुए के भीतर?” पंजाबी :- “ओ पाजी ! अस्सी हां” U.P. वाला :- अबे दो-चार होते तो निकाल भी देते… अब अस्सी को कौन निकाले… पड़े रहो भीतर ही… ———— एक बुजर्ग ने सुनने की नई मशीन लगवाई। नई मशीन बहुत छोटी थी और आसानी से दिखती नहीं थी। एक हफ्ते बाद वह फिर डॉक्टर के पास पहुंचा। डॉक्टर : “कैसी चल रही है नई मशीन?” बुजुर्ग… Read more »

lalit
Guest
lalit

पक्का भारतीय होने के लक्षण:- 1. होटल में खाने के बाद मुट्ठी भर सौंफ खाना। 2. हवाई यात्रा के बाद बैग से टैग नहीं उतारना। 3. सब्जी लेने के बाद मुफ़्त धनिये की मांग करना। 4. दीवाली पर मिले गिफ्ट को रिश्तेदार को सरका देना। 5. छह साल के बच्चे को 3 साल का बता कर आधा टिकट लेना। 6. रिमोट से लेकर मोबाइल तक का पीठ ठोंक कर चलाना। 7. शादी के कार्ड से गणेश जी उतारकर फ्रिज पर चिपकाना। 8. मोलभाव करते वक्त पिछली दुकान का हवाला देना। 9. गोलगप्पे खाने के बाद मुफ़्त में सुखी पापड़ी की… Read more »

ABdul Shaik
Guest
ABdul Shaik

Sardar apne dost ke saath coffe house mai..
SARDAR : Jaldi pee !! coffee thandi hojayegi..
Dost : Phir kya hoga??
SARDAR : bewakoof menu card dekh
Hot coffee — Rs 15
Cold coffee — Rs 45

shubham
Guest
shubham

😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
एक महिला तीन बच्चों के साथ बस में यात्रा कर रही थी।

कंडक्टर:- मैडम इन बच्चों का टिकिट लगेगा, उम्र बताओ?

महिला:- पहले वाले की दो साल, दूसरे वाले की ढाई साल और तीसरे की तीन साल।

कंडक्टर:- मैडम टिकिट चाहे मत लो, पर गैप तो 9 महीने का रखो।

महिला:- कर्मफूटे,
बीच वाला जेठानी का है,
तू टिकिट काट, ज्ञान मत बाँट।
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

Friend : meri Gf mumbai rehti hai. Teri Gf kaha rehti hai?

Me : Bhai meri Gf toh naraz rehti hai

amar sai
Guest
amar sai

Dad- Son, u better pass this exam or rather forget that im ur father!
Son- Sure dad! Whatever!
~5 hours later~
Dad- Howz ur exam?
Son- Who the hell r u???

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
Customer : What? Do you think I can’t buy more?

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Girl: mom aaj 1 ladke ne mere gal pe kiss kiya.

Mom:tune usko chata mara ya nahi.

Grl:mujhe achanak Gandhiji yaad agaye aur maine dusra gal age kar diya.

Aman
Guest
Aman

Aman says:
Not able to get the contest, a person comments at 11:18 am, later on it should be at 11:21 or after but between those minutes other comments also come so will 1:18 AM be considered, or the comments in between those will also be? Please reply fast…

Shayan Muazzam
Guest
Shayan Muazzam

Teacher: Who answers my next question,
can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!

Bhavin
Guest
Bhavin

Nokia Phones with android will
be like 50 year old aunties
wearing lipstick and mini skirts. 😛
356 67 fb

Pk
Guest
Pk

टीचर:आपको सारी चीजे school से ही लेनी पडे़गी जैसे
Books,uniform,shoes,socks,belt
पिता:और शिक्षा
टीचर:उसके लिये आप बाहर tuition लगा लेना.

Neha
Guest
Neha

Ek pathan aur ek Sardar ka interview tha..
.
PATHAN se:
Q: Taleem?
Ans:B.A
.
Q: Pakistan kb bna?
.
Ans:koshish pehle se chal rhi thi pr 1947
.
Q: Pakistan ka pm kon hy?
Ans: buht ae gae lekn ab geelani shab..
.
SARDAR ye sub sun raha tha usne teno ans yaad krlie
1- B.A,
2- 1947,
3- Geelani
.
ab SARDAR se.
.
Q: Naam?
Ans:B.A
.
Q: Kab paida hoay?
Ans: koshish buhot pehly jari thi per 1947
.
Q: Baap ka naam?
Ans: wese to kitne aaye gaye lekin ab geelani sahab hai

lalit
Guest
lalit

एक पिता ने अपने बेटे को दो-तीन झापड़ रसीद कर दिए,
थोड़ी देर बाद प्यार से सॉरी बोल दिया।

बेटा:
डैड, एक कागज लो, उसे मोड़ो, रोल बनाओ। वापस उस
कागज को खोलो और देखो क्या वह पहले जैसा ही कड़क है

पिता: नहीं

बेटा:
सही कहा, रिश्ते भी ऐसे ही होते हैं। सॉरी से काम नहीं चलता।

पिता:
बेटा बाहर मेरा स्कूटर खड़ा है।
जाओ और उस पर एक किक मारो।
बताओ क्या वह स्टार्ट हुआ।

बेटा: नहीं हुआ।

पिता: अब तीन-चार किक मारो।

बेटा: स्टार्ट हो गया।

पिता:
तू भी वही स्कूटर है, कागज नहीं।
ज्ञान मत दे मुझे!

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

“You look very funny wearing that belt.”
“I would look even funnier if I didn’t wear it.”

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.

ravi
Guest
ravi

Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turnyour head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

disant
Guest
disant

🍒⭐🍒⭐🍒⭐🍒⭐🍒 अगर लोग सिर्फ जरूरत पर ही आपको याद करते हैं, तो उन्हें गलत मत समझिये, क्योंकि आप उनकी जिन्दगी की वो रोशनी की किरण हैं जो उन्हें सिर्फ, अन्धेरों में ही दिखाई देती है. ⭐🌸 Gud Morning 🌸⭐ 🙏 jay mataji 🙏

ABdul Shaik
Guest
ABdul Shaik

Santa- tumne itne chhote-Chhote baal Q katwaye?
Banta- naai ke paas 3 rupye khulle nahin the,
to main bola 3 rupaye ke aur kaat de…..

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

“Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?”
“No, I’m sorry I don’t.”
“Well, it’s two blocks this way, then one block to the left.”

santosh
Guest
santosh

आज के जमाने में सयाना बंदा वही है,
जो हॉटेल में बिल देने के वक्त
हाथ धोने चला जाये…
.
.
.
.
और वापिस आकर बोले,
“अरे में दे देता…”

Funny Jokes, Gutka jokes

दो गूंगे
उ…ऊ…उ… करके बातें कर रहे थे…
.
इससे पहले कि मुझे दया आती..
.
सालो ने…
मुँह में का गुटख़ा थूक कर
बात करना भी शुरु कर दिया…

saaransh
Guest
saaransh

Santa class me haans raha tha,
Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum?
Santa : Tum kaun ho?
Ladka : Mein monitor hu
Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!

Akanksha
Guest
Akanksha

Teacher : U failure !
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler committed suicide

Anil
Guest
Anil

Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

साला इतनी गर्मी पड़ रही हैं कि…
अब तो कीचड़ मे पड़े कुत्तों को भी देखकर
जलन होने लगती हैं

Raja
Guest
Raja

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”

pj
Guest
pj

“Why is there music coming out of your printer?”

“That will be the paper jamming again!”

More jokes at: http://www.short-funny.com/best-puns.php#ixzz4CZGxgkJ9

Saganlal
Guest

msg pe msg bhejte ho
bhej bhej kar bheja kharab karte ho
bhejte bhi ho to kya bhejte ho
khud ka bheja chalta nahi
dusro ka bheja bhej te ho…..

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions?
Student: Well…yes and no.

ruhee
Guest
ruhee

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it!

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Class mai 1 bar naya mahol cha gaya
Teacher ko Pappu se pyar ho gaya
Tabhise Pappu ka dil udas ho gaya
Class ke sare bacche fail aur Pappu pass ho gaya

deven
Guest
deven

Zuckerberg’s girlfriend blocked him on
WhatsApp and he blocked WhatsApp 😛

disant
Guest
disant

“संबंध” और “पानी” एक समान होते है,

न कोई रंग…
न कोई रूप…
न कोई खुशबू…

फिर भी जीवन के “अस्तित्व” के लिए सबसे महत्वपूर्ण है l

🌹🙏Good Morning🙏🌹
🙏 jay mataji 🙏

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

मालिक, छुट्टी दे दो!
नौकर: मालिक हमका दो दिन की छुट्टी दई दो… 3 साल बाद बिहार जा रहे हैं।

मालिक: क्या करेगा बिहार जा के?

नौकर: मालिक… घर से चिट्ठी आई है, हमारा MBBS पूरा हो गया है, हम टॉप किया हूं!

shivam
Guest
shivam

Paytm cash is out of stock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bhavin
Guest
Bhavin

Old Generation :
” Neki kar, Dariya mein daal ”
New Generation :
” Kuch bhi kar, Facebook pe daaal

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, “Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!” The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, “You see, it pays to be bilingual!”

lalit
Guest
lalit

राहुल गांधी ने तो इस बार हद ही कर दी

जब उन्होंने सोनिया से पुछा:
मम्मी जब पुलिस लाठि चार्ज करती है
तो चार्जर नोकिया का ही लगाती है या सैमसंग का ?

सोनिया कोमा में हैं..

Neha
Guest
Neha

Sardar: Shirt k Liye Koi Acha sa Kapra Dikha Do.
SalesMan: Plain Me Dikha Don?
Sardar: Abay! Hawai Jahaz Me Jany Ki Kya Zarurat Hai,
Yahi pe Dikha Do.

Neeraj
Guest
Neeraj

ADMIN : CHANGE THE TNCs of CONTEST AS PEOPLE R POSTING EVERY SECONDS SO LEAVE 3 MINUTES THERE WONT BE ANY GAP OF EVEN 1 MINUTES TOO.

REPLY AND SORT THIS OUT

Raman Gupta
Guest
Raman Gupta

Traffic Signals:

Rest Of the World:

Green -> Go

Yellow -> Go safe

Red -> Stop

India:

Green -> Go

Yellow -> Go fast

Red -> Check if no police then go

Pk
Guest
Pk

Mom ~ Beta zara Papa ko Bulana..
Me ~ *To Dad*
Me ~ Chalo Bulava Aya Hai… Mata ne Bulaya Hai !!
Dad ~ Jay Mata Di !
*Mom runs behind*

disant
Guest
disant

_એક મંદિરની બહાર લખ્યું હતું,_

પાપ કરતા કરતા થાકી ગયા હો તો અંદર આવો…

અંદર બેઠેલો ભગવાન તમને માફ કરતા કરતા હજી થાક્યો નથી…..

💐🙏🏻 શુભ સવાર 🙏🏻💐
Happie sunday 🙏

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,”oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.” Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go!”

santosh
Guest
santosh

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? Because they part for every little shit.

Akanksha
Guest
Akanksha

Height of Good Luck …!

Teacher: Hey! Stand up.
Tell me two pronouns.
.
.
.
Student: Who? Me?

Teacher: Very Good, Sit down 😀

Raja
Guest
Raja

1 Cute ladki ne Pappu ko aawaaz lagai.
O bhai jaan, kirpaya sunie to zara.
Pappu

shivam
Guest
shivam

CONTEST WILL BE STOPPED BY ADMIN IF HE CAN’T FIND ANY WINNERS….. So dont WASTE YOUR TIME

saaransh
Guest
saaransh

A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya.
Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.

Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

First Soldier: “What made U go into the army?”
Second Soldier: “I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?” 🙂
First Soldier: “Well, I had a wife and I loved peace.”:(

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ….
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run …

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

एक व्यक्ती ने एक गुरु से पुछा :

सेलेब्रेशन करने का बेहतरीन दिन कौन सा है ?

गुरु ने प्यार से कहा –
मौत से एक दिन पहले…

व्यक्ति : मौत का तो कोई वक़्त नहीं…!

गुरु ने मुस्कुराते हुए कहा –
तो ज़िंदगी का हर दिन आख़री समझो…!
और मजे करो ।।।

disant
Guest
disant

🙏 प्रभु , सुख देना तो बस
इतना देना कि ‘अहंकार’
न आ जाए ।

और दुःख देना तो बस
इतना देना कि ‘आस्था’
न चली जाए 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
good morning
जय गुरुदेव jay mataji

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

santosh
Guest
santosh

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!

lalit
Guest
lalit

केजरीवाल लालू और मोदी बिना टिकट ट्रेन में पकङे गये। कोट ने उन्हे सौ-सौ डंडे मारने की सजा सुनाई।। मारने से पहले उन से आखिरी ईच्छा पुछा गया।। केजरीवाल: मुझे दो तकीया आगे और दो तकीया पीछे बाध के मारा जाये।। करीब 40 डंडा पीटने के बाद तकीया फट गया और बाकी के डंडे उन्हे खाना पङा।। अब लालू की बारी आया।। लालू: मुझे चार तकीया आगे और चार तकीया पीछे बाध के मारा जाये।। करीब 60-70 डंडा पीटने के बाद तकीया फट गया और बाकी के डंडे उन्हे भी खाना पङा।। अब मोदी की बारी आया।। मोदी बोले: केजरीवाल… Read more »

Bhavin
Guest
Bhavin

Relationship Now A Days
Start With Poking . .
End With Blocking…. 😀

Gurpreet Singh
Guest
Gurpreet Singh

भारतीय पत्नी संस्कारों वाली होती है
वो कभी सबके सामने अपने पति को

“Abe Gadhe”
“Oye Gadhe”
“Sun Gadhe”

नहीं बोलती

इसलिए वो short में
“A.G. / O.G./ Suno G”
कहती है

Raman Gupta
Guest
Raman Gupta

Never Judge The Beauty Of A Girl By Her Profile Picture.. Judge It By The Photos She Is Tagged In..!!

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

Hiren
Guest
Hiren

When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Pk
Guest
Pk

She : Tumhari gf he?
He : Nahi.. kyo tumhe banna he?
She : Nahi.
He : To dukhti nash pe hath kyo rakhti ho .

Kartik Sharma
Guest
Kartik Sharma

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast
B: What was it?
A: Eggs.
B: No, that was yesterday.

shivam
Guest
shivam

The Website DEALNLOOT Would Like To Send You Push Notification, Open Chrome Then Hit On Allow

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Santa: Yaar Meri Car Ka Horn Theek Kar De.
Mechanic: Kya Hua Kharaab Ho Geya Kya?
Santa: Nahi Brake Kharaab Ho Gayi Hai!

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

परेशानी का कोई पैमाना नही होता
“साहब”
.
.
कुछ लोग तो यही सोचकर परेशान रहते है
ये सामने वाला दिनभर मोबाइल में करता क्या है!

hiren
Guest
hiren

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”

Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”

Doctor: “Nine.”

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

Santa Singh falls in a sea. He sees a fish & throws it to land & says I am going to die, at least you save your life.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

If u care 4 me,i will care 4 u,if u miss me,i will miss u,if u msg me,i will msg u,if u forget me..
sorry dear kahani me TWIST hai,i will kill U!

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

आज का ज्ञान…………….

पति यदि खाना खाते वक्त आचार माँगे…

तो समझ जाना कि सब्जी में दम नहीं है और सीधे बोलने की हिम्मत नहीं है..😜

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Rahul jain
Guest
Rahul jain

अफ्रीका में,
ब्लैक बाय्फ्रेंड ने अपनी ब्लैक गर्लफ्रेंड को,
काली रात में, समुंदर के पास,
बड़े रोमॅंटिक मूड में पूछा –
.
.
.
.
“तू बैठी है के …. चली गई..

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?”
Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

hiren
Guest
hiren

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Pradeep
Guest
Pradeep

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Syed abdul gafoor
Guest
Syed abdul gafoor

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!

manjunathreddy
Guest
manjunathreddy

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

saaransh
Guest
saaransh

Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,

Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,

Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!

disant
Guest
disant

મોજ કરજે કાલે…
એમ
શનિવાર કહી ગયો..!
કામમાં ને કામમાં રોજની જેમ રવિવાર પણ વહી ગયો..!!

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

सुबह का फ्री ज्ञान

अगर आप किसी लड़की का पीछा कर रहे हो
और वो रोड़ पर बैठ जाए
तो
उससे थोड़ा पीछे ही रहे
क्या पता वो नागिन बन रही हो

Pk
Guest
Pk

Wife- आपको नही लगता कि हमने शादी से अब तक कोई अच्छा Happy Weekend नी मनाया है?
चलो इस Weekend मनाते है
.
.
.
पति- ठीक है तुम मायके हो आओ .

hiren
Guest
hiren

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

More jokes at: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz4CZJ6kHEv

Koustav
Guest

SANTA ~Apka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai kya khilate ho ise,..?

BANTA ~abe wo sher hi hai saala PYAAR-WYAAR k chakkar me kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai.

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Said to a railroad engineer:
What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?

santosh
Guest
santosh

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

More jokes at: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz4CZJ7ymf1

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Mom: College and School Ko Log Swarg Kehte Hain.
Pappu: Hmm… Tabhi Badhe Bujurg Kehte Hain Ki Jodiyan Swarg Mein Banti Hain!

lalit
Guest
lalit

अगर ड्रग्स पर ‘उड़ता पंजाब’ बनाई है तो
खैनी पर ‘रगड़ता बिहार’
गुटखे पर ‘थूकता उत्तरप्रदेश’
दारू पर ‘लुढ़कता हरियाणा’
सिगरेट पर ‘फूंकती दिल्ली’
अफीम पर ‘चिलमता हिमाचल’
गांजे पर ‘खेंचता गोआ’
भी बना डालो बे!!

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

बन्दा गर्ल्स होस्टल Chocolate बेचने गया
एक नही बिकी
किसी ने सलाह दी सामने boys हॉस्टल मे जा वहाँ सब बिक जाएँगी
ये लड़किया खरीद कर नही खाती

Gurpreet Singh
Guest
Gurpreet Singh

*पाकिस्तान क्रिकेट एकेडमि*
कोच: अबे नामुराद ये बल्ले पे बम बांध के क्यों आया??
बल्लेबाज:विस्फोटक बल्लेबाजी करने के लिये जनाब

Syed abdul gafoor
Guest
Syed abdul gafoor

deal and loot team came upwith smart game for hits to their website

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn’t rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It’s because your feet aren’t empty.

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

A student was asked to write a signboard for the traffic rules near the college campus. He wrote “Drive carefully. Dont kill the students, wait for the professors”.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Whats self insult ..

An angry boss-
Boss:Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai ..
Employee(sar jhuka ke)-Nahi sar!
Bosss-Neeche kya dekh rhe ho idiot..
Meri taraf Dekho…

santosh
Guest
santosh

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

अकबर :- बीरबल मुझे बताओ !
अपने स्टाफ में सबसे ज्यादा काम
करने वाले को कैसे पहचानोगे ?
बीरबल :- महाराज मैं सबको बुला लाता हूँ ,
फिर बताता हूँ !
बीरबल सबको बुलाता है और
एक का हाथ पकड़ के कहता है :-
महाराज यही है वो !!
अकबर :- तुमने कैसे पहचाना इसको?
बीरबल :- महाराज ! मैने इसका मोबाईल
चेक किया हैँ,
इसके मोबाईल की बैटरी 98% है !!😝😝😝😝

Neha
Guest
Neha

GYA

deven
Guest
deven

While on FB if you post a food
related status update, some bhukkad
will definitely ruin it by commenting
“akele akele” 😛

saaransh
Guest
saaransh

Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
Santa : Wah g wah kya technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai,
aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!

hiren
Guest
hiren

Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Headmaster: I’ve had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.

admin
Admin

Update – Due to massive participation and overwhelming response, we have decided to reduce time from 3 minutes to 2 minutes. Valid from 11:40 AM.

manjunathreddy
Guest
manjunathreddy

Employer : We need someone for this Job, who is Responsible.
Applicant : Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I am Responsible…

shivam
Guest
shivam

LOLLLZZZZZ

jitin kumar
Guest
jitin kumar

Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

lalit
Guest
lalit

एक दिन भगवान विष्णु भ्रमण पर नीकले । वहां 51 डिग्री की गर्मी से लोग झुलस रहे थे और पसीने में तरबतर अपने पूरे मनोयोग से काम में लगे हुये थे। भगवान ने बडे ही अचरज से पूछा:- ‘यमराज जी, ये महान आत्माऐं कौन है जो इस भयँकर और प्रचँड ताप में भी अपने काम में लगे हुऐ है?’ यमराज:- ‘भगवन ये लोग भारत के सेल्स रिपेरजेंटेटिव / Managers है। जो 51 डीग्री तापमान मे बिना कूलर पॅखे के भी काम करते हैं। भगवान:- ‘यमराज जी आप इनको स्वर्ग मे ले लो।’ यमराज:- ‘भगवन इन्हें स्वर्ग की कोई इच्छा नहीं… Read more »

saaransh
Guest
saaransh

Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha
Aadmi : Kyu maar rahe ho?
Sasur : Meinie ise Hospital se SMS kiya.
Tum baap ban gaye ho. Isne apne sare friends ko forward kar diya!

Raman Gupta
Guest
Raman Gupta

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

hiren
Guest
hiren

Police officer: “Can you identify yourself, sir?”

Driver pulls out his mirror and says: “Yes, it’s me.”

Koustav
Guest

Teachar: batao pradhanmantri aavaas kahaan hai?
Santa: havai jahaaj mein?

santosh
Guest
santosh

पप्पू बस में खड़ा था.. ब्रेक लगा तो एक लड़की पर जा गिरा! लड़की: बदतमीज, क्या कर रहे हो? पप्पू : Engineering.. और आप? बैंक वाले अपने लंच को लेकर इतने स्ट्रिक्ट रहते है, कि अगर विजय माल्या 7000cr चुकाने लंच टाइम पर आ जाए, तो उससे भी कह देंगे लंच के बाद आना। बेटा : पापा मैं बड़ा होकर पायलट बनूंगा और जब मैं गांव के ऊपर से जहाज लेकर जाऊं तो आप सब मुझे टाटा करना पापा: बेटा हमे केसै पता चलेगा कि जहाज तू चला रहा है? बेटा: मैं गाव मै बम गिरा

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

A boy touches girl’s face with a rose.
City Girl: Darling, you are so romantic!
Village Girl: Abe Aankh Phodega Kya?

Gurpreet Singh
Guest
Gurpreet Singh

लड़की –
बादल गरजे तो
तेरी याद आती है
सावन आने से
तेरी याद आती है
बारिश की बुंदों में
तेरी याद आती है

लड़का-
पता है पता है तेरी छतरी मेरे पास पड़ी है लौटा दुंगा, मर मत

Pk
Guest
Pk

She~पिछले दो साल से मांग रही हूं एक हार दिला दो
He~सुना नहीं है क्या “कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती”
She~तू कुवारा ही मरेगा कमीने।

Bhavin
Guest
Bhavin

Five Facts About You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You,
1. You’re So Lazy You Didn’t Read All The You’s
2. You Didn’t Notice I Put A Yoo In You’s
3. You Are Now Looking To Find Out
4. You Are Laughing Because You Realise There Is No “Yoo” And You’ve Been Tricked
5. You Are Going To Share This On Facebook.

raghav
Guest
raghav

jai ho

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

When I took my 7 year old son on his first flea market visit, I taught him the art of fine haggling (bargaining).
“Say someone’s selling an item for Rs 200. Offer him Rs 150,” I instructed. He got the concept, and when he spotted a ring that was selling at Rs 50, he went into action.
“I only have Rs 30,” he said to the woman at the booth.
She smiled. “Then Rs 30 it is.”
With that, he pulled out a Rs 50 note and then waited for change

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

A girl to her boyfriend:
Is hafte roz shopping karenge,next hafte roz movie dekhenge
Bf- Uske agle hafte roz mandir jayenge
Gf- Q..
Bf- Bhikh mangne

lalit
Guest
lalit

1 मुर्गी ने बत्तख् से शादी कर ली

मुर्गा:
हम मर गये थे क्या?

मुर्गी:
मै तो तुमसे ही शादी करना चाहती थी
पर मम्मी पापा चाहते थे लड़का नेवी में हो.

shubham
Guest
shubham

गुप्ता की पत्नी का जन्मदिन था, पर गुप्ता बिज़नस के सिलसिले में शहर से बाहर था । इसलिए उसने 25 गुलाब के फूल आर्डर किये अपनी पत्नी को भेजने के लिए। फूलो के साथ उसने लिखा: डियर, मैं तुम्हारे लिए उतने फूल भेज रहा हूँ जितने साल की तुम लगती हो”.. 

उधर फूल वाले के यहाँ स्कीम थी । 
एक पे एक फ्री 

आज तक गुप्ता नहीं समझ पाया की उसका तलाक क्यों हुआ।

😜😜😂😂😝😝

santosh
Guest
santosh

मोनू गर्लफ्रेंड के साथ डिनर पर गया। मोनू ने गिलास में घूम रहे एक कीड़े को मार दिया। यह देख गर्लफ्रेंड चिल्लाई, कितने निर्दयी हो। मैं तो इतनी सेंसिटिव हूं कि एक चींटी भी मुझ से मर जाए तो दुःख होता है। तभी वेटर आ गया। वेटर : मैडम आर्डर? गर्लफ्रेंड : भैया एक चिकन ले आओ! ———– पहला कुत्ता – आज मेरे मालिक ने रात 3 बजे एक चोर पकड़ा …….. दूसरा कुत्ता : …..तुम कहा थे ? पहला कुत्ता- कुत्ता हू कोई इंसान नही जो रात भर नेट चलाता रहू….. मै तो आराम से सो रहा

hiren
Guest
hiren

About 4,000 years ago:

God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!

Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*

God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Teacher: “Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”
Nick: “What do you think it is, Sir?”
Teacher: “I don’t think, I KNOW!”
Nick: “I don’t think I know either, Sir!”

manjunathreddy
Guest
manjunathreddy

Interviewer : How does a scooter run?
Santa : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr………….
Interviewer shouts : Stop it!!
Santa : Dhhuurrrr dhupp dhupp dhupp dhupp……

Pk
Guest
Pk

मायके में गयी बीवी के पास पति का फोन आया

पति-हैलो

पत्नी-आज कैसे याद किया

पति-बस ऐसे ही
मच्छर खून पी रहे थे तो याद आ गई तेरी

Hiren
Guest
Hiren

My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right.

Raman Gupta
Guest
Raman Gupta

If u r stressed, you’ll get pimples..
if u cry,u’ll get wrinkles..
So, y don’t u smile & get dimples?

rocky
Guest
rocky

I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me.

sumit
Guest
sumit

Bunty: Yaar Meri Body Mein Iron Nahi Hai.
Pappu: Tumhein Kaise Pata Chala?
Bunty: Kal Maine Full Body Par Magnet Laga Ke Dekha, Kahin Nahi Chipka!

raghav
Guest
raghav

ohh god tussi grt ho

santosh
Guest
santosh

एक सज्जन परेशान थे, दोस्त ने पूछा क्या हो गया? बोले- लेटर में धमकी मिली है कि मेरी बीवी से इश्क बंद कर दो वरना, जान से मार दूंगा। दोस्त – ठीक तो है, बंद कर दो। सज्जन – लेटर गुमनाम है, समझ नहीं पा रहा हूं, किसकी बीवी से इश्क बंद करना है। ————————— पॉजिटिव थिंकिंग . डॉक्टर : तुम्हारा लीवर फूल गया है । . मरीज : इसका मतलब है इसमें अब और ज्यादा दारु आ सकती है। ———————- अब ये अफवाह कौन फैला रहा है कि आने वाले

Gurpreet Singh
Guest
Gurpreet Singh

एक दुकान के आगे लिखा था –
उधार एक जादू है….
हम देंगे और आप गायब हो जाओगे

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

You can’t find happiness at the bottom of the beer.
Well, no kidding. Who is happy when their beer runs out?

manjunathreddy
Guest
manjunathreddy

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with “I.” 
student: I is the … 
Teacher:  Stop! Never put “is” after “I.” Always put ‘am’ after “I.” 
Student: I am the ninth letter of the alphabet

jitin
Guest
jitin

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?” Teacher replied ” NO Never!!” Boy said to girl: “see i told you not to worry!!!!”

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed “Deepest Sympathy”. While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card.
“Oh, it’s all right.” said the storekeeper. “I’m a businessman and I understand how these things can happen.”
“But,” added the florist, “I accidentally sent your card to a funeral party.”
“Well, what did it say?” ask the storekeeper.
“Congratulations on your new location’.” was the reply.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Students song..

Hum honge all pass

Hum homge all pass

1 din,
ho ho

sote he bindas,

LIkhte he bakwas,

Karte he timepass,

Fir b h vishwass…

Marks milenge jhakkas..
1 din……

shivam
Guest
shivam

TIME WASTE HO RHA HAI ADMIN

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Bhavin
Guest
Bhavin

If u still visit ur ex’s profile .. u
haven’t moved on 🙁

sumit
Guest
sumit

Mom: Dekh Beta Us Ladki Ko Paralysis Ho Geya Hai. Munh Tedha Ho Geya Hai, Honth Bhi Pichak Gaye Hain, Aankhein Bhi Tedhi Ho Gayi Hain. Chalo Uski Madad Karte Hain.
Son: Mom Woh Ladki Selfi Le Rahi Hai.
Mom: Fite Munh!

shubham khatri
Guest
shubham khatri

*HOW THINGS CHANGE WITH TIME* Ten years back I went to the temple, there was a big notice saying *’Mobile phones prohibited’*. Five years back it was changed to : *’Keep your mobile switched off’*. Last year it read : *’Keep your mobile in Silent mode’*. Yesterday when I went, it said : *’Selfie with the Lord, Rs. 500’*. 🙈🙈😂😂😂😂😂

hiren
Guest
hiren

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

My Gym instructor suggested skipping.
So I skipped the gym for 2 years and counting!

raghav
Guest
raghav

ye kya hua…kese hua…

Gurpeet Singh
Guest
Gurpeet Singh

टीचर: वो कौनसा
डिपार्टमेंट है जिसमे
औरत काम नही कर सकती..???
:
:
:
पप्पू: फायर ब्रिगेड..
:
:
टीचर: क्यों ?
:
पप्पू: क्यूंकी औरतों का
काम आग लगाना है बुझाना नही

jitin
Guest
jitin

Boy: how do i play the guitar???? girl: u should be on TV for ur talent 😐 boy: am i so good??? 😀 :O girl: if u were on TV, i can atleast switch it off…

mus2
Guest
mus2

Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

manjunathreddy
Guest
manjunathreddy

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
“Ouch,” he says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog.”

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Der z no excitement n interest in dz contest admin.. Juz it’s running :/

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Girls should not study much..
kyu..
socho
socho
kyu ke
Is dunia k kisi kone me koi na koi gadha us k liye padh hi rha hoga

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

Santa Singh calls the help desk to complain that there’s something wrong with his password.
“The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” he says.
“Those asterisks are there to protect you,” the help desk technician explains. “So, if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.”
“Yeah,” he says, “but they show up even when there isn’t anyone standing behind me !!!!”

santosh
Guest
santosh

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

prashant singh
Guest
prashant singh

“ब्रिज बनाने का टेंडर निकला.!”
.
“एक मद्रासी ने 3 करोड़ ,का कोटेशन दिया.!”
.
“अथॉरिटीज ने पूछा :- कैसे ?”
.
“मद्रासी ने कहा :- 2 करोड़ का मटेरियल, 50 लाख का लेबर और 50 लाख मेरा मुनाफा.!”
.
“U.P वाले ने 9 करोड़ का कोटेशन दिया.!”
.
“अथॉरिटीज ने पूछा :- इतना महँगा कैसे.?”
.
“U.P वाला बोला :- 3 करोड़ आपके और 3 करोड़ मेरे.!”

.
“अथॉरिटीज ने पूछा :- और ब्रिज का क्या.?”
.
“U.P वाला बोला :- बाकी बचे 3 करोड मद्रासी को दूँगा। ब्रिज मद्रासी बनाएगा.!”
.
“U. P. वाले को को टेंडर मिल गया.!”
.
( “उम्मीदों का प्रदेश -उत्तर प्रदेश, उत्तम-प्रदेश.!” ) बन रहा है आज सवंर रहा है कल

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

The longer you wait, the hotter you date.
So one day, I’ll date a volcano!

hiren
Guest
hiren

There is nothing worse than child polio. No wait, there’s women’s soccer.

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.

Gurpreet Singh
Guest
Gurpreet Singh

बहुत से लोग सवाल करते है

*शादी क्या है ?*

लो उत्तर देता हूँ

*जब दिशा उलटी हो जाती है

तो उसे शादी कहते है।

दिशा—–शादी

Pk
Guest
Pk

Contest over ?

jitin
Guest
jitin

Two lovers plan to comit suicide, the boy jumped first, girl closed her eyes and return back saying “love is blind”…Boy in air, opened his parachute saying “LOVE NEVER DIES”

Deepak K
Guest
Deepak K

Dil Me Ek Fitoori Kida Hai, Chedoge Toh Kaat Lenga, Aur Khilvaad Karoge Toh Do Hisso Me Baant Denga

santosh
Guest
santosh

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

shiva
Guest
shiva

Shopkeeper: What you need?Husband: I need power to fight with my wife.Shopkeeper: Ok, you should buy a quarter of whiskey, with some ice and peanuts!

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

टीचर:आपको सारी चीजे school से ही लेनी पडे़गी जैसे
Books,uniform,shoes,socks,belt
पिता:और शिक्षा
टीचर:उसके लिये आप बाहर tuition लगा लेना

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

Saudi Arabia is banning chess, calling it Harm .
Reasons are :

1. Queen doesn’t wear burkha.
2. Queen roams freely wherever it wants .
3. Queen is more powerful than King
4. Queen alone goes to other army’s side
5. King has only one Queen

However they have their own chess. With 4 queens, all unable to move. And protects the king always.

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”
“Wrong number,” replied the girl.

jitin
Guest
jitin

Boy:”I m not rich like Shariq, I don’t have a big car like Shariq, But I really love you”…Girl:”I love u too, but tell me more about Shariq.”

vasu
Guest
vasu

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one

Gurpreet Singhgurpreet730@gmail.com
Guest

Interesting Fact 🤔

You need atleast *1 witness* to prove a murder.

And minimum of *2 witnesses to register a marriage*

You decide which one is more dangerous?

shiva
Guest
shiva

How many Pear you can eat when your stomach is empty.Girl: 7 Pears.No, you are wrong, you can eat only one.Girl: How can you say that.Because when you eat 2nd Pear, your stomach will not empty!

jitin
Guest
jitin

The length & breadth & height of you, total up to quite a view, but to taste the true delight of you, I’ll have to take a bite of you.

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

A man was trying to pull out of a parking spot but bashed the bumper of the car parked in front of him. Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the damage, and proceeded to write a note to leave on the windshield of the car.
The note read: “Hello. I have just hit your car, and there are some people here watching me who think that I am writing this note to leave you my name, phone number, and driver’s license number, but I am not.”

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Ladkiyo ki 5 baatain kabhi samjh nahi Aati ,..
(1) Tum na bohat woh ho (pata nahi woh se kya matlab .. banda soch main per jaata ha ..
(2) Mujhe tum se ye umeed nahi thi.(to usay kya umeed thi ..
(3) Tum pehle jaise nahi rahe.(to phr main pehle kesa tha ..
(4) Sach batana,mai n kaisi lag rahi hon.(such kya boloon pitna thori hay..
(5) I am very selfish na.(ab haan bol doon to gayi bhens pani mein..

santosh
Guest
santosh

Man said to God — Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man — So that you will love them.
Man said to God — But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man — So that they will love you.

Pk
Guest
Pk

Pls reply admin
Contest over?

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

When a guy gets jealous, it’s actually kind of cute but when a girl gets jealous, World War III is about to start!

shivam
Guest
shivam

Boring Competition, Admin

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!

Bhavin
Guest
Bhavin

Me: 3G ki speed nahi aa rahi hai
Call centre : Kaunsa handset use kar rahe hain aap?
Me: Iphone 5
Call centre: Apple ka iphone?
Me : Nahi Amrood ka 😀

jitin
Guest
jitin

Fact of Life :- If a girl cries, there may be thousand reasons…But if a boy cries, there is only one reason: “GIRL”

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

A wife saw the fridge full of Kingfisher beer bottles kept by husband… she asked:
“What is this For ??”

Husband’s humble answer: “I’m doing what the banks could not do………..freezing the properties of Vijay Mallya. $

Gurpreet Singh
Guest
Gurpreet Singh

Interesting Fact 🤔

You need atleast *1 witness* to prove a murder.

And minimum of *2 witnesses to register a marriage*

You decide which one is more dangerous?

jitin
Guest
jitin

For a GIRL Who says,”All BOYS are the same”, should be asked: Who told HER to try ALL OF THEM!!:-P

hiren
Guest
hiren

Q: Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?

A: It had a nosebleed.

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

A 4 year old child kept telling his teacher about his baby sister which was going to be born because he was very much excited about it. One day his mom made him feel the baby’s movements by placing his palm & fingers on her stomach. The kid didnt tell anything from that day and he stopped telling his teacher about his baby sister. One day when his teacher inquired about his baby sister, the boy’s eyes were filled with tears and replied, “MY MOM ATE IT!!”

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Hathi swiming pool me gira to sab chitiya bahar nikal gai.
Ek chiti hathi kee pith par chad gai,
to dusri boli- “Duba Saale Ko”

santosh
Guest
santosh

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an “I”.
Student: I is the….
Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

A boy calls her girlfriend:
Boy: Kya Kar Rahi Ho?
Girlfriend: Mehendi Lagwa Rahi Hun.
Boy: Wow! Love you so much!
Friend: Bahut Pyaar Hai Tum Dono Mein?
Boy: Abe Nahi, Ab 2-3 Ghante Tang Nahi Karegi!

shiva
Guest
shiva

Teacher: Name some countries?Australian Kid: Australia..Teacher: That is it?Kid: Yes.Teacher: Aren’t Africa, UK, US, India, Singapore, Europe countries?Kid: Nope, They are not country, they are Foreign countries..

raghav
Guest
raghav

aa javo meri tamnna

jitin
Guest
jitin

Boy: your teeth are like the stars…Girl: awww … Thanks, Are they that much pretty? Boy: no, far away from each other.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Santa Ki Ladaai Apne Baap Se Ho
Gayi To Usne Apne
Baap Ki Photo Kabristaan Me
Ek Ped Pe Latka Di

Aur Neeche Likh Dia

COMING SOON

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

Manager : I am afraid the young man we hired last week is not honest.
Clerk : Oh, you should not judge a person by his appearance.
Manager: I am not – I am judging him by his disappearance

hiren
Guest
hiren

Pessimist: “Things just can’t get any worse!”

Optimist: “Nah, of course they can!”

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Principal: I’ve had complaints about you, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Pappu: Nothing, sir.
Principal: Exactly!

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Once a fisherman got up very early on a Sunday morning.
Since it was very dark, He decided to pass time.
He found a sack full of little pebbles.
He began tossing them into the river high and far.
Atlast when he had only one pebble left, The sun rose.
He saw the pebble, he was holding and It was a diamond.
He then realized that, He had just thrown a sackful of diamonds.

Moral:
NEVER Get up so early on a Sunday morning.
😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆😜

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

पप्पू डाक्टर के पास गया
डाक्टर ने पूछा –
कौन सा group है आपका?🤔

पप्पू : Friends Forever

डाक्टर : अरे blood group पूछ रहा हूँ What’s App की औलाद….।।।

😆😆😆😜😜😜😜

mus2
Guest
mus2

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

sumit
Guest
sumit

Doctor: Kya Khaaya Tha?
Girl: I ate hamburger, french fries, a corn pizza and had a coke.
Doctor: Instagram Nahi Hai Yeh, Asli Mein Kya Khaya Tha?
Girl: Tinde Ki Sabzi!

Dheeraj
Guest
Dheeraj

माइक्रोसॉफ्ट ने पहले नोकिया खरीदा और अब लिंक्डइन..
बिल गेट्स आईटी वाले मुहल्ले का कबाड़ी है..!

santosh
Guest
santosh

You can use this joke to explain that insulting someone is considered funny especially when that person is fishing for a compliment.
Mary: John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: I think you’re pretty ugly.

jitin
Guest
jitin

Gf : Am I Pretty Or Ugly? Bf : You Are Both…Gf : What Do Yu Mean Both ? Bf : You Are Pretty Ugly

Pk
Guest
Pk

आज हर लडके को पराठे
और हर लड़की को कराटे सीखने चाहिए ।
पता नहीं कब काम आ जाये…

ruban charles
Guest
ruban charles

सुनीता: घर में टमाटर खत्म हो गयें हैं

केजरी: अच्छा एक प्रैस कॉन्फ्रेंस कर के आता हूँ

सुनीता: सिर्फ टमाटर ही लाना, जूते बहुत पड़े हैं

😁😜😋😂😂😂😂😂

jitin
Guest
jitin

Girlfriend: Baby, I’m Pregnant…What Do You Want It To Be? Boyfriend: A Joke.

NAUSHU
Guest
NAUSHU

An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old, you know!!!”.
“Where did you get this exact information?”
“I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”

hiren
Guest
hiren

I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere.

Sameer Ansari
Guest
Sameer Ansari

Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge.. Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.

lalit
Guest
lalit

एक बार एक पंजाबी U.P. गया,
और वहां एक कुए में गिर गया…

एक आदमी वहां से गुजरा और उसने पंजाबी के चिल्लाने की आवाज सुनी…

U.P. वाला :- “अबे कौन है बे कुए के भीतर?”

पंजाबी :- “ओ पाजी ! अस्सी हां”

U.P. वाला :- अबे दो-चार होते तो निकाल भी देते…

अब अस्सी को कौन निकाले…

पडे रहो भीतर ही…

santosh
Guest
santosh

joke

shiva
Guest
shiva

—-Shelly: Why it is feel like husband and kite seems alike..Aliza: Why?Shelly: Because, both are kept loose, flies here and there!

Jatin
Guest
Jatin

Bunty: Why did you start working at McDonalds?
Pappu: Because I heard women love men in uniform!

Santhosh
Guest
Santhosh

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!